Persona non grata

There he stood suddenly in front of me. Without knocking at the door, he smiled at me with his narrow lips.
“The coincidence-generator has selected you. From now on I will stay with you. Oh, my name is Parkinson. Morbus Parkinson. My friends call me Morby.“
I was totally taken back. “Why me? I am only 35.“
He shrugs indifferently with the shoulders. “That´s life..,“ he added with a bored smile.

I had already heard of this unpleasant invader. Sticks to people like glue.. He usually takes the floor in a very reserved manner...but then... I sat there and thought about it how I could get rid of him, while Morby himself took a look at my home, to get to know me better.

“The police your friend and assistant“ came to my mind, I discarded the idea however. “Not responsible“ they would answer.
“Bribery,“ of course, the solution.
“Listen, Morby, have you ever been to the Caribbean for holidays?“ I asked indifferently and clapped myself on the shoulders for this brilliant idea.

“Oh my friend, I am known everywhere, only your life is of interest right now.“ With these words he let my illusions burst.
“You should better ask your neurologists, he knows me well.“

Then I heard my wife coming home from shopping. With a beaming face she showed me the shoes, she had been looking for many weeks.

“Your enthusiasm is quite controlled“ she was grumbling, then, as she noticed my thoughtful expression.
“Oh, my darling, I am happy for you, but I have a serious problem right now. A certain Mr. Parkinson, specifically Morbus Parkinson, has taken up residence in my study above, and he wants to stay here.“

“No way“, she exclaimed with all sternness. “Not here and particularly not in your control center, your study room. We all would be affected by it“

“I know“ I muttered warily, still under complete shock at this change in my life. “Tomorrow I will go to see my Neuro, there must be a way to get rid of him“.

Then Morby came sneaking along. Immediately an indiscernible tremor was visible in my hands, a modest shaking, just to show that he meant business and that everything had changed. He did not give a look at my wife and addressed me:

“To make it clear: I am a gambler and I will set the rules. You may continue to live like before, or better said, you may try to live as before; which means you work, drive car, eat, go for a walk etc. I meanwhile have some tricks on hand to disturb you.


Some examples: If you lift the cup to the mouth, your hand shakes, if you want to stand up from the chair, you remain seated, if you want to walk, your posture will be bent and your walking will look funny, with those little steps. If you succeed in doing what you have planned to do you earn a point. If you fail, it is my turn and I get the point. So we can see at any time who is ahead. By the way, you may swallow all of the chemistry your Neuro might prescribe. You will dispose of a complete arsenal. You may wish to try gymnastics, eat garlic or practice Yoga. Do whatever you like. “

We could not, and did not want to believe what we were listening to. But the next day my Neuro confirmed my worst fears. He nodded thoughtfully when I told him about the intruder and gave the cruel comment:

“Obvious case. Idiopathic Parkinson, progressive, I have to enhance neuroprotection, to avoid the worst. Not to forget the Catechol-O-Methyltransferase, in order to avoid stress for dopamenergic cells. I will prescribe some powerful agonists, which we might put in together with a good portion of levodopa. I have everything under control“. My question, as to how I could get rid of Morby, he ignored bluntly and was grumbling something about “peaceful co-existence.“

The family took up the challenge. The massive use of pharmaceuticals maintained a good grip on Morby and, more or less smoothly my life continued. My children took it rather as a sports match. “Dad, you are in front a good few points - well ahead. Morby has no chance against our dad.“

I was eager to believe that. But in fact Morby was only waiting fo the first levodopa euphoria to vanish before he struck unmercifully and without giving prior notice, Suddenly my legs were beyond control. In a shopping mall, in the middle of a huge crowd, he halted me and offered the crowd a cruel drama: A grown-up attempting to reach the next seat with awkward shuffling steps “That´s s the way you should walk, grandpa,“ exclaimed a two-year old child and ran before me. Disbelief in the eyes of the surrounding crowd....strange man..

When I talked at home about this episode my family remained silent and deeply depressed, while Morby sat in the corner, grinning and chuckling. We would have to be shrewd and learn how to come to grips with him. We planned all excursions and activities well in advance, including sufficient rest for me. We were mostly cheerful when we had managed to spend an afternoon outside without being annoyed by Morby. Or what a gift it was eating out with my wife in a restaurant as we had used to do before.

“Go ahead, Daddy, you´ll make it“ my kids gave me moral support when fighting with my shoe laces. My wife gave so me much power and support as necessary and so much confidence into my own strengths as possible.

Once I overdid it...I sneaked out of the house alone ...looked fearfully over my shoulder and went carefully into the woods with no Morby following me. I went quickly, laughing. I was simply happy and cried out: “Yes, I will win, I´ll make it“. “Go, Daddy, go. You´ll make it, you are in front...” I heard my children supporting me. It was simply great.....up to the next corner...where HE was sitting on a bank, awaiting me with his cold and thin smile..

.
“Did we want to start alone ...? Without Morby ...? Thought we were better than Morby ...? Yes ...? Well then - time to crawl back!“

With bent posture, sad, shuffling and stumbling he urged me back home. I sat in a quiet corner and sketched out new plans. Never give up! Not against this Morbus Parkinson ...and not now.

I have scored many points in this match, but Morby has too. Sometimes he is in front, then again me. But we know that we will kick him out one day and get rid of him...for ever!!!

And then we will have a party! A big party! We will laugh and laugh and laugh. We already prepare for this day...every day we take a little holiday and every day we laugh. Morby doesn´t like it, but it is good for us to be ready for the great day!

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