Sunshine

Rain starts pouring down in cascading waves as I run to the bus stop only to see the backside of the bus just driving away. My feet slow down and I feel the sudden urge to stomp the ground, like I used to do when I was still a child. But I’m an adult now; stomping is considered immature. So I just mumble a silent curse, glaring at the corner where the bus is disappearing. There it goes, my last chance to reach home relatively dry and safe. The next bus is coming in 45 minutes, too long for me to wait.

Actually, I could walk, it’s what I usually do, since I live only three bus stops away, but with the rain I wanted to reach my little apartment while I was still dry. I guess my plans were flushed down the gully.

It is raining very hard now, and I pull my small jacket closer around my body. Typical for me to go out in only a thin jacket which is now soaked and heavy with water. But the weather was fine this morning, no clouds in the sky. My luck, really. There are some days…

I sigh deeply, realising that there have been many of those days over the last few months. First the break-up, then the death of my beloved cat, and then the lack of a social life. It really starts getting on my nerves. Those are the days when I wished I was be back in Japan, with the others. Sure, I can visit them, but it’s not the same. They are attending the university together, some of them even live in the same flat – I heard some interesting rumours about my friends Kari and Davis the last time I was there – while I am stuck in New York, living in my one-room flat and going to an American University.

It’s not that I don’t like what I am doing, no, it’s just that my life has turned from bad to worse since that fateful day in December. I still love my course, studying fashion design is like a dream come true, and I’m in my last year, but sometimes I wish my social life had a positive turn out.

Ah well, you can’t hope for everything, can you? I should be satisfied that I am able to study here, that I can pay my flat, and that there are at least a few nice people I can hang out with.

Brr, the rain is cold! Deciding that I better hurry, I hustle through the streets to the big old apartment house I’m living in. My hair is clinging to my face, a feeling I can’t stand at all, and brushing it behind my ears doesn’t help much. Rain is dripping down my face and running down my neck, terrible feeling!

I turn around a corner, only to stop suddenly. I’m standing in front of a small park, and now I have two choices: either walk through it, which is a shortcut, but can be dangerous because of the people lurking there, or I can take the long way around getting even more soaked than I already am.

A quick glance at the sky helps make my decision and I step into the grass. All the muggers are probably home in this weather – the streets are so empty that I start believing that I am the only person alive in the city.

The mud squishes under my shoes, and for once I’m glad that I didn’t wear the white ones today, but instead, the black ones. Ruining some of my favourite shoes would be just a perfect ending for this day.

There’s an eerie silence in the park, nothing can be heard, only the drumming of the rain. Somehow, I enjoy it. It’s different from the silence I usually have in my apartment. There, the silence is suffocating, is clearly indicating that it’s only silent because of the lack of voices, a constant reminder of my loneliness.

Here it’s different – it’s kind of peaceful, nature content with the rain. I take a deep breath of fresh air – not that the air is that fresh, after all, I’m in New York City – but it’s still an improvement from the usual, stinky stuff I breathe through my lungs.

Even the rain is subsiding somewhat, and I find myself slowing down a bit as I walk through the green scene of the park. Spring has just started and everything is flourishing and becoming green. I love this time of the year; it’s as if suddenly life has started again. Plus, I love flowers, so I can never get enough of those.

It’s kind of relieving to simply walk here and ponder my current life. Here I am, twenty-four years old, single…I used to have a boyfriend until last December. We broke up, though, it was a rather nasty scene, but I am glad that I did it. The relationship wasn’t worth continuing, although we stayed together for nearly a year.

You know, I don’t like being the girl to show off with. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what I am for most people. They see me, and they see a pretty face with nothing behind it. They see a fashion doll, a Barbie, but they don’t see me, don’t see the real person. I must admit, I like dressing up, I like looking beautiful, but that shouldn’t keep me from being my own person, should it?

I was sick of being showed to Tom’s friends as if I was some trophy to be proud of.

I was sick of the things most other girls said about me, and that they shunned me simply because they thought I was dumb, without actually talking to me.

I was sick of it, and I still am.

There are two people here in New York whom I can consider as friends, and both are very busy, so that I can’t see them very often. And, of course, all my friends over there in Japan, with whom I keep in touch with and who know that there’s a deeper side of me. But they are not here, they have their own lives.

The break-up really got me down; I mean, Tom seemed so perfect at first! He was nice, charming, good-looking, I could laugh with him and…but somehow we only talked about unimportant things. Never about really deep stuff, I could never talk with him about my problems and worries.

Sometimes I think that he fell in love with my looks and not with me. That’s really depressing.

Then Minka died. As if I wasn’t depressed enough, no, my cat, my constant partner, died only three weeks after the break-up and left me alone in my apartment. I still haven’t found the heart to buy another pet.

Oh great, I’m starting to become depressed again. But hey, I practically loved that animal! It was nice to have someone who would greet me when I came back in the afternoon, who would jump on my lap and purr contently. Now all I see is an empty room, and that’s not a view to look forward to.

That’s probably one of the reasons why I am taking so long to get home, and I’m wet till to the bones by now. I really don’t mind. It’s not that cold, and it’s better than hiding in a dark corner of my room.

There’s a small park bench not far away from me, and I make a sudden decision to sit down on it. I don’t really know the reason for it; I’m just in the mood to stay a little bit longer in the rain, to feel like I am living, to watch the falling raindrops…

I drop my bag on the ground, not caring that it will get wet, and lean my head back, looking at the sky. Raindrops are falling directly into my face and my eyes, making me blink, but I don’t flinch away. I simply close my eyes and sit there, thinking about everything and nothing, unaware of the fact that I have started humming a soft tune.



//I’ve had enough of this rain crying for my pain
Let in some light again
Make the day night again
It’s raining in my heart//



I don’t know how long I sit there. Minutes, seconds, or maybe even hours….time doesn’t matter in this moment. Nobody waits for me at home; I can stay here for the whole night if I want to. My fingers are starting to get numb, as the cold water is finally taking its toll.



//Unchain my soul
Let the sunshine back into my life
Bring it on let it go
Make the wind blow the clouds away hey//



When I finally open my eyes, I realise that I am not alone anymore. There’s a man sitting beside me, staring at me with a lopsided grin on his face.

I quickly sit up and narrow my eyes, not knowing what to think of this guy. Is he dangerous? Does he want to mug me? I look around, suddenly realising in what a dangerous position I am in if this man really wants to hurt me.

“Enjoying the rain?” He says casually, in a voice which is heavy with a strange accent I can’t identify. It sounds nice.

I nod, still unsure about this whole situation and decide that a direct approach is probably the best. “What do you want?”

He laughs, and it’s not a bit threatening, but warm and mischievous. “Well, the same as you – to enjoy the rain. I like walking in the rain, and when I saw you on this bench, I just had to come and join you. You seemed so peaceful here that I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Somehow my feelings are telling me that he isn’t dangerous, but my brain screams to me to be cautious. Better safe than sorry.

“I was just…thinking.” I answer softly, gazing at a tree not far away. The leaves are full of raindrops.

“Is there any reason for a pretty lady to sit outside in the rain while she could be inside with others, enjoying her life?”

I sigh. “Yeah, well, maybe the lady doesn’t want to be with the others. Or maybe the others don’t want her. Or maybe there aren’t any others.”

Why am I telling this to a complete stranger, anyway? It’s not as if he would care, or….I look at him again in time to see him raising his eyebrows. He has wrinkles of laughter around his eyes, and I wonder why I’m noticing this.

“But that’s bad for the lady, isn’t it? Being alone is never good.”

“Yeah, but life doesn’t always take the perfect way, and the lady had bad luck in the last few months.” I glance at him. “And considering that luck, you are probably a psycho who’s only trying to take my purse and rape me or something like that.” I’m really too tired to be polite or play my usual sweet role.

That sentence causes him to chortle with laughter and I smile despite myself. “That’s not funny.” I advise sternly, but he only grins at me.

“Be reassured, I won’t rob or assault you in any way. But I will listen to you if you want to talk about your problems; it may help.”

I eye him suspiciously. “Why should I talk to a complete stranger? And why should it interest you?”

“Well, let’s just say that helping young ladies is my job. And as for the other question…my name’s Liam, I live not that far away from here, and I love walking in the rain. There, I’m not a complete stranger anymore, you see?”

He makes me laugh, and I shake my head. “It’s not much, really….it’s just that nobody sees me for what I really am.”

Some part of me is screaming that I must be nuts, sitting here and telling a stranger (yes, he is *still* a stranger) about my deepest feelings and fears. But his eyes are honest, and there’s an aura of strength radiating from him so that I simply can’t refuse.

“That doesn’t seem like ‘not much’ for me,” he replies softly.

“It is, for most people.”

“But not for you?”

I hesitate, rethinking what I want to say. “No. No, not really. It’s depressing that people always see only the surface, and never below. You have an image, you keep it.”

He – what is his name? Liam? – looks at me intently. “But you are giving them this image, aren’t you?”

“No,” I shake my head. “All I am doing is behaving like other girls; I like fashion, I like looking cute, and I love flowers. That makes them think that I’m a brainless doll, a Barbie without deeper feelings. Nobody cares about the real me.”

“Ah, I see.” Liam nods. “Then you probably met the wrong people, because not everyone is like that.”

“I know.” I manage a weak smile. “I have some friends – they are really great – and they are different. But they are not here. They are far away, and I can’t see them very often.”

“That’s bad.” He nods his head. “But sometimes you have to take the first step, ya know. You can’t just wait until others come and try to look beneath the surface; you must offer them something, show that there’s more and that you are willing to open yourself if the other ones open up themselves as well.”

I lean my head back, blinking against the rain. “That’s difficult.”

“I know. But it’s the way of life.”

“Probably.”

“Well, you did well, you opened up to me, that’s good, isn’t it?”

“But with you it’s different…” My voice trails off as I search for the right words. “I mean….usually I can’t talk about this, with anybody. But then you came, sat down and I spilled my guts to you, that’s so strange. I don’t even know you, but yet I have the feeling that I can trust you.”

“I guess this is the point where I am supposed to say ‘Thank You’, right?”

“Only if it doesn’t hurt your ego.”

The big guy laughs. “I like your attitude.”

I smirk at him. “So, there’s more to me than you see. But that, we have already established, haven’t we?”

“Sure.” He nods, and we both lean our heads back, staring at the sky together. It’s quite comfortable, very peaceful, and I don’t feel cold anymore. Probably because he is sitting so close to me, I can feel his warmth through my jacket. I don’t know if it’s deliberate, but I certainly don’t have anything against it.

We sit like that for quite a while, and nobody feels the need to speak.

“You know, I always liked the rain.” he suddenly speaks, interrupting the silence with his deep voice. “The streets are different when it’s raining. Nobody is out, and when you see somebody, they’re hurrying to reach a dry place. When it rains really hard, the city is dead, and you can walk through the streets feeling like the only human being left on earth. It’s a strange feeling. And when you are out in nature, everything is so fresh and wet.” He brushes his hair back.

“And it’s perfect to think about things.” Liam adds as an afterthought.

“So, Liam…why did *you* chose to walk in the rain?” I query, feeling curious about this mysterious man.

“It’s like I said, I like to think about things,” he shrugs. “About life, about my job, about my friends…about everything, I guess.”

“Anything particularly interesting?” I ask, wanting to repay the favour of listening that he did for me.

Liam crosses his arms behind his head and stares ahead. “Well, yeah…I was remembering something. To be more precise, someone. A very good friend. Today’s his birthday, ya know.”

I sense that there’s more behind this. “Normally one would say ‘So why aren’t you celebrating?’, but I guess that’s not possible.”

“Exactly.”

“What happened?”

“He died.”

I glance at his impassive face, only his eyes give away the emotions he must be feeling. Seems as if I am not the only one with problems. “How?”

“He was shot. On a mission. I saw him.”

I know better than to comment on this. “You miss him.”

“Yep.”

“You want to talk about it?”

He hesitates. “I…am not sure yet. Maybe later. Not yet. Not here.”

Silence ensues between both of us, and I stare ahead, my long, brown hair clinging to my neck. The rain has nearly stopped, only a few drops continue splashing down on us.

“You know, I still haven’t asked for your name.” Liam suddenly turns toward me.

I smile. “Mimi. Mimi Tachikawa. Nice to meet you, Liam.”

“Same here.”

He looks at the sky. “You know, the rain has stopped, and I am soaking wet. Care to continue the conversation in a warmer place?”

I laugh, feeling warm although my body is cold. “Of course. There’s a café not far away from here, you in the mood for it?”

“Always. Caffeine is the nectar of my life.”

“I figured that much.” We both stand up and walk through the park. Now that the rain has stopped, the people are coming out of their houses again. Two children are running down the street, chasing a small red ball, and the clouds in the sky are moving away, letting a few sunrays pierce through.



//Unchain my soul
Let the sunshine back into my life
Bring it on let it go
Make the wind blow the clouds away hey//



We don’t talk, we don’t need to. Somehow, I feel comfortable, and my heart is lighter than it has been in days. I don’t know what is happening, nor do I care to. I only know that the sun has started shining again, and that maybe –just maybe – my luck is returning.



//I’ve had enough of this rain crying for my pain
Let in some light again//

Diese Geschichte war eigentlich ein Wettbewerb eines Freundes...Liam ist sein Charakter, und zu seinem Geburtstag hat er sich eine Geschichte mit Liam gewünscht, vielleicht sogar mit einer weiblichen Person...Tja, das ist der Grund, warum diese Story entstanden ist. Sie mag etwas konfus erscheinen, weil der Liam-Charakter hier relativ unbekannt ist, aber ich denke, man kann sie trotzdem lesen.

Nun, es war interessant zu schreiben, besonders, da ich normalerweise jede Romantik verabscheue wie die Pest...man kann es eigentlich auch nicht wirklich eine romantische Geschichte nennen, aber was soll's. Über Kommentare würde ich mich natürlich sehr freuen! *g*

Der Liedtext, der zwischen den Zeilen steht, ist von dem Lied 'Rain' von Blondie. Nicht von mir^^Andrea G., Anmerkung zur Geschichte

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