Smiling

When they told you

about your illness

You smiled.

You didn’t want me to worry

so you smiled



~Since I can remember

You´ve been there

Protected me

Helped me

Loved me.~



When your friends visited you

You talked with them

And smiled

As if everything was okay

But it wasn’t.



~So many things

we shared together

So many things

we´ve gone through together

I don’t want you to go!~



When Mum hugged you

You, her oldest son

You smiled to her

and told her not to cry

You seemed so strong



~You’ve always been strong

You did everything for me

You would give your life for me

Without thinking

I was always very proud to have you as my brother~



When you became thin

And pale

You still smiled

And when I was crying

You comforted me.




~You never showed your feelings

I’m your brother

But even I couldn’t see your heart

Your true feelings

Because you were too afraid to show them.~



When Dad was crying

beside you

for the first time in my life

You smiled and hugged him.

I was the only one who saw the tears in your eyes.



~You didn’t want us to worry

You thought that smiling would help me

But I often wished

That you cried

So that I could show my love for you~



Then came the day

When you smiled the last time

When you closed your eyes

and never opened them again

The day you died.



~The Sun was shining

It was a very nice day

You enjoyed the singing of the birds

But when we came back in the afternoon

You couldn’t listen to the birds anymore.~




That´s the day I will never forget

The Day everybody cried

The Day I wanted to follow you

The Day I hated you

for leaving me alone



~But I can’t hate you

You didn’t want to leave

Now you are gone.

Your room is empty.

Your guitar will never be played again.~




I love you.

And I will never forget you.

I will keep my memories

of the best brother ever


~And you are smiling.~

Ich denke, der Inhalt dieses Gedichtes ist offensichtlich. Ich weiß nicht genau, warum ich es geschrieben habe, es kam mir einfach in den Sinn...ich hab damals darüber nachdegacht, wie es wohl für die Nicht-Erkrankten ist, wenn der Erkrankte über alle Massen stark sein will und keine Emotionen zeigt. Ist irgendwie schwer in Worte auszudrücken, was ich dabei gedacht habe, aber das ist bei all meinen Gedichten so.Andrea G., Anmerkung zum Gedicht