My heart......At What Cost?

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Slow down…….you’re moving too fast;
that’s what I told myself as my heart
quickly opened up to him.
He’s so young, so tender, not to mention
so damn cute.
this can’t happen…….shouldn’t happen;
that’s what I told myself over and over
again.
 
Tender kisses, soft touches, gently lovemaking,
oh my what have I gotten myself into, I’m being
sucked in like a vacuum cleaner, damn this man takes
my breath away.

Promises, promises; maybe false I don’t know; but still more
promises.  I’m a big girl; I can handle all this young man is
throwing at me.  He’s got me and he doesn’t know even
know it.  I’m ready to give it all up just to be with him.

But wait something is happening!
He’s changing, he doesn’t answer the phone, he doesn’t
call, he disappears, his action and words change.  I
question myself “what did I do..what did I say?  I would
never jeopardize my relationship with him, that would
come with a price…….my heart (broken/twisted/mangled).
 
Suddenly I feel used, abused, betrayed, lied to!  Damn this young
man has broken my heart,  I guess the price of my heart was
too much. Letting go will be hard, is hard. Lord, help me
this is more painful than I thought.

I’m hurting, hurting badly, but I can’t tell, I can’t reach out
for help because it is a secret that can never be exposed.
A secret that’s haunting my mind and soul.  Toying
with me feelings and life has caused me to become
hateful toward the very person I just learned how to love.
 
 
Signed,
Broken hearted

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