Lost Loves

The smoke was thick as thieves  at the Johnny Mac Saloon down by the swamps.  Johnny didn’t mind us smoking in his joint because he knew the cops were either too lazy or too scared to drop in, although we all knew it was the later.  Anyway it was a great place to hang after a long day of hunting .

 It was a bad time for us crocodiles , food was scarce, I still can’t believe I even had to resorted to eating  my cousin Barb’s new born babes while I was babysitting just last week.  I knew she’d never talk to me again but what did I care, just one less Christmas card to write.

I was belly up to the bar drinking my troubles away reminiscing  about Elsie, my late wife.  She just picked up one day decided she wanted the city life, said she wanted to make something of herself in the big  ‘ole city of New York.  Well I guess she got what she wanted in some sad way , she made something of herself alright,  She got herself made into a  fancy purse for some snooty lawyer lady on the upper east side.  Poor sweet, naïve Elsie.   

Just as I asked Johnny to hit me again, she walked in, legs up to her ears and eyes as big a s cow patties.  An absolute  face of a doe, a deer, she was a female deer alright.    All eyes were on her and every tooth was dripping with saliva, they all wanted a piece of her . She was the all you could eat buffet only she didn’t know it yet.   The dame was obviously lost , before the smoke could clear I whisked her out the back door, she didn’t try to fight me because the moment our eyes met, we had chemistry, and I mean the crazy fireworks kind of chemistry you only experience once in a lifetime.

It wasn’t long after that we were married, me the one with the words “Never Again” tattooed on my upper bicep.  Go figure, I guess love really is blind, anyway we had a lovely honeymoon along the shores of  the Bayou.

That would a great ending to any fairy tale right there but that ain’t my story.   You see travelling home I began to realize I hadn’t eaten a thing since our courtship began, guess you could say I was living on love or something like that.  I could of ate the back end of a baboon at this point.

To make a long story short, if you’ve never tried venison, you really should,  that stuff’s freaking amazing!! 

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